Life; The Next Chapter

April 22, 2009

Do You Know Why You Fail?

Filed under: Life Skills — Sabri @ 4:25 am

Failing is subjective. For me, there is nothing wrong with failing. Failing is just the result of a test. I think educated people like us know that failing is not a bad thing (eg: the quickest way to success is to fail faster, etc).  Never heard of this? Contact me so that I can arrange for you to get an earful.

What is more important is that we learn why we fail. Here I will lists a few reasons why people fail, and see if you can relate to it.

1) You Don’t Know the Purpose of the Game – What do you Really Want?

Happened to me when I am in standard 6. Semua orang study, so I study. I know that I need to get 5A in UPSR but I don’t know the real purpose of the game. Semua orang suruh study, suruh study, cakap kalau dapat 5A boleh masuk asrama penuh. Tapi still ia tidak cukup mengujakan. Memang best masuk asrama penuh, tapi kalau masuk pun so what?

I was not told the real purpose of getting 5As.

Kalaulah parents saya bagitau saya, belajar rajin-rajin supaya dapat 5A dan dapat masuk asrama penuh sebab there are more awek cuns in asrama penuh than in sekolah harian, then maybe I will study hard and really get 5A. Sebab I nampak jelas matlamatnya.

The same kalau anda nak kurus atau anda nak belajar rajin-rajin dan dapat 4 flat.

Nak kurus bukan matlamatnya. Nak dapat 4 flat bukan matlamatnya.

Kenapa anda nak kurus? Anda nak buat orang jeles? Anda nak rasa hebat?

Kenapa anda nak 4 flat? Nak dapat etc money so that you can use it for travel?

Tell yourself. Write it. Always, always be clear on what is your ultimate purpose. 

2) You Have 100000 Rules on How the Game Should Be Played

Hidup anda banyak syaratnya. Sebagai contoh, nak study kena pergi library. Dekat rumah banyak gangguan, tak boleh study.

Nak happy time dating, bf/gf kena puji-puji dan kena bagi hadiah.

Nak itu mesti ini. Etc.

Meletakkan syarat pada diri sendiri ini adalah antara punca kegagalan dan punca hidup anda statik. Berapa kali kita katakan pada diri kita,

Nantilah. Bila (xxxxx) aku buat. Tapi bila xxxxx terjadi kita dah tak ada mood untuk buat.

I think the most important thing in life is to enjoy it. We enjoy our life by constantly taking action. Whether we are right or we are wrong, its still a lesson learnt. 

Actually, I have more to write. But let think about these two first. It seems simple but I can recall a lot of occassion when something happened to me due for both reasons. It really applies to all aspects of our life. Study, romance, careers, friendship, etc.

 

His Awesomeness,

 

Sabri

April 11, 2009

He’s Not That Into You? Worst Movie Ever!

Filed under: Lessons on Love — Sabri @ 1:10 am

When”He’s Not That Into You” hit the local cinemas, I was excited. I thought. “Well another good chickflick to enjoy”  (after COAS). Plus I recall seeing somewhere in my sis blog, look like she and her friends are totally into it. Should be fun. 🙂

 

But apparently not.

 

The movie itself is okay. Its not bad.

 

But I think the messages that the movie are trying to deliver are totally misleading AND downright stupid!

 

This is not a movie you should watch with your girlfriend. Especially if she is naive and not so mature. 

 

From what I understand, this movie tell us that it is okay for you to leave a relationship under the pretext, that “the spark is not there“.

 

Which is not totally untrue. BUT, the movie should highlight more on what of the actor says which I will rephrase:

 

“Guys made girls believe the spark exists. But it’s not! Guys created this spark by manipulating on the girl emotions and insecurity. ”

He plays hard to get, and at the same time he flatter her and sweep her off her feet. She is confused and the guys true feeling seems so mysterious and elusive to the girl. And the girl want to unravel this mystery. In this process, she feel something different. Of course she feels something different because in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), this is what we call as “breaking the patten”. 

 

When you “break the pattern”, or in layman terms you do something different from what you used to, of course you will feel some sensation.

 

And girls think this artificial sensation is love.

 

I don’t swear, but this is totally bs!

 

The sensation is so totally over commercialized. The dating guru over exploit this, and Hollywood movies create a mountain out of this mole. Its a cospiracy on a bigger proportion that Hang Tuah folklore. Not that I don’t believe it, but it has been overly repeated until we are not sure whether he exist or not. And if he exists whether he is really invicible or not. And if his is really invicible, whether it is Hang Jebat (Hikayat Hang Tuah) or Hang Kasturi (Sejarah Melayu) that he killed.

 

The same with this love spark thingy. 

 

And just in case you are in a relationship and you do feel “the spark”, know this. When you focus your attention and really believe in something, you will think its true. (have you heard of placebo effect?)

 

Totally bs!

 

To be fair to the movie, it shows both side of the coin. It also shows that in a relationship (Jennifer Aniston with I don’t know who), you can have love without having the spark. But it negates it by showing the other couple broke up because they did not have the spark anymore.

 

This is dangerously risky. For a mature and intelligent women, they can see and discern this.

 

But for naive girls that are often confused, what they really want. The movie will mislead them.

 

Not that one movie can influence girls, BUT the movie try to portray a fallacy that’s already on our mind as a truth, somebody will definitely believe it.

 

Some of my critics will say, life is unfair. And the movie is practical. It shows the reality.

 

Yeah I can agree that to some extent the movie is just portraying what already out there. But by showing it like that, it gave credibility to something that is not true.

 

Its absurd.

 

 

Doesn’t mean that if other people believe it,and they think its the truth and we should believe it too.

 

 

Not too long ago, public believe than Sun revolve around the earth. But they are proven wrong!

 

I believe we can create our destiny.

 

I also believe in qada & qadar.

 

But I also believe that God has promised us, he will grant whatever we asked, if we asked Him and worked for it (to summarize it of course). HE also went on to say, He wont change anyone unless that person change himself.

 

 

But to blame everything on qada & qadar, jodoh maut dan ajal according to our whim and fancy (which changes with time) of course is not correct!

 

Because from what I know and from what I learned,jodoh are supposed to be determined already. 

 

When first you say this is your jodoh and later you say its not, that’s wrong! That’s bullshit. That’s not jodoh. THAT’s YOU.

 

Why say “Takde jodoh” when its really you?

 

 

Lame.

 

Lame.

 

Lame.

 

Maybe it looks like I am venting my anger. Yes I am angry.

 

I like to watch chickflick, I find it entertaining. But I couldn’t watch a movie with stupid messages. I am angry when a movie try to make it audience believe that they are a loser. And losers’ life is cool. That’s so totally wrong!

 

 

The take away from this post is:

 

 

I believe we can create our destiny.

 

I also believe in qada & qadar.

 

But I also believe that God has promised us, he will grant whatever we asked, if we asked Him and worked for it (to summarize it of course). HE also went on to say, He wont change anyone unless that person change himself.

 

So can you. YOU CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY!

 

And don’t be stupid. If you have to choose between good and bad, you always go for the good one. Especially if its man. Justifying why you have to choose the bad one because it seems cool, THAT’S living in denial.

 

His Awesomeness,

 

Sabri

p/s: Phewww. That was brutal. I am still kind and nice though. 🙂

April 9, 2009

Wateroholic

Filed under: Adventures — Sabri @ 11:14 am

My mom always worried because I don’t drink enough water.

I have heard we need to drink at least 8 glasses of water everyday to replenish the liquid our body need. Less than that, something bad will happen (not sure what).

During my school days, yes I don’t drink enough.

Even when I am in Kuantan during holidays or weekend I don’t drink that much.

But when I am in KL, I easily drinks at least 1 litre a day.

A few glasses of Ribena during the day, a glass of Chinese tea for lunch (no sugar <==SABRIZA, BUKAK MATA LUAS-LUAS tengok ni tau!), sometimes a glass of coffee if I feel sleepy in the afternoon, a few glasses of plain water at night before sleep and also another glass or two when I woke up in the morning.

I don’t know whether KL weather made me drink that much, or I have simply become a better man.

Whatever it is, I do hope all the water can flush down the excess sugar I might accidentaly take. 😉

And one more thing, I don’t drink Coke anymore, ONLY Light Coke. hehe…  🙂

Getting older, I am more careful with what I put into my body now. I do realise I am old when I saw almost all AF contestants is at least 2-3 years younger than me. I think if I joined AF, I will be voted out early not because I am not talented, but because I am too old! ahaxz.

Sigh.

Anyway, tomorrow I will be back in Kuantan. My limited edition, uniquely designed business card has arrived! Hooray! 🙂

His Awesomeness,

 

Sabri

April 6, 2009

Orang Perempuan Ni Tak Boleh Tipu Sikit Ke?

Filed under: Life Skills — Tags: — Sabri @ 11:21 am

Disclaimer One: Maaf ya blog ini agak shallow sikit. Lebih-lebih memalukan lagi memandangkan penulisnya adalah orang hampir-hampir dewasa. This is the only purpose why this blog exist. I want to be able to blog like my sister. (80% rhetoric, 20% substance and 100% cool). If you are looking for a more serious content, check my serious blog, SaifulSham.com

Disclaimer Two: Post below are written from my limited experience with women. I don’t know that many women, this is just from my observation and what I thought.

Give me any decent girls and by decent I mean perempuan yang baik-baik, tak gedik dan yang biasa-biasa, if they asked me whether diorang cantik atau tak, I will say, “Cantik la tu, nak cantik macam mana lagi…” (with a stern face)

To clear the air kot-kot nanti ada yang cakap perempuan tak gedik tak tanya lelaki macam tu, saya nak bagitau ada je perempuan tak gedik tanya lelaki macam tu. I am a guy and I know. Girls are naturally insecure and sometimes diorang perlukan kawan-kawan (kawan biasa) mengaffirmkan self-confidence diorang. Baik yang cantik atau tak, diorang sama-sama perlukan pujian. From my experience, girls like to be complemented.

The reason why I say “Cantik la tu, nak cantik macam mana lagi…” sambil pura-pura marah adalah kerana nak cover. As I said, I will say that to every decent woman yang tanya. And of course, tak semua 10/10. Tetapi dengan pura-pura marah I will get away dan tak nampak sedang menipu. 

Sebagai contoh, pernah tak katakan ayah anda sedang memandu, dan ibu anda (atau anda) suruh dia bawa laju-laju lagi (atas apa juga sebab, nak cepat shopping ke, nak cepat balik tengok tv ke). Dan ayah anda akan menjawab dengan tegas, “Laju la ni, nak laju macam mana lagi”

Bila ayat, nak XXX macam mana lagi digunakan, itu bermaksud penanya sedang bertanya soalan bodoh. Soalan yang jawapannya sudah terang lagi bersuluh. Dan jawapan itu juga mempunyai maksud tersirat XXX sudah berlaku.

Jadi bila saya cakap, “Cantik la tu, nak cantik macam mana lagi…”  bermaksud saya sedang konon-kononnya marah sebab orang cantik bertanya sama ada dia cantik atau tidak. 🙂

Brilliant is it? 🙂

Bukan apa, sebab saya rasa kebanyakan wanita ada inner beauty masing-masing. Kalau dia ok, ok pun, tapi kalau dia baik, boleh lepas sebagai cantik jugalah. Sejuk mata memandang.

Saya tak sampai hati nak cakap, okaylah tu ataupun lebih ganas lagi, tak. Tak cantik langsung. 🙂

Btw, okaylah tu mean tak. 

When speaking about beauty, there is only 2 scale. Cantik and the rest. Go figure.

Tapi from my experience pulak, perempuan tak pernah pun camtu.

From my mom, to my sisters, to my friends, to almost every girl I think, diorang tak pernah nak cakap laki yang okay-okay tu hensem.

At most they will say, “Okaylah tu, asalkan sejuk mata memandang.”

Which means, one way or another tak handsome mana. Or kalau ya pun, boleh tak bagi jawapan yang terang-terang sikit. Ini vague sangat. Women must know this, you MUST tell men exactly what you mean. Diorang kurang paham kalau ayat tak jelas sangat ni (there are a lot of references & quotes on this, Google kalau tak percaya).

Well, NOT that I (we) need it. But its still a nice answer to hear.

Cuba korang tukar cakap:

“Hensem la tu, nak hensem macam mana lagi?” (dengan muka geram seolah-olah lelaki hensem tadi tanya soalan bodoh sebab dia memang hensem)

Gerenti lelaki tadi akan tersenyum kembang sampai telinga sepanjang hari.

Dan elakkan cubaan-cubaan menipu seperti:

“Erm…”

“Erm… tak taula”

“Erm… hensem kot”

“Erm… bolehlah”

“Erm… hensem”

(atau pun apa2 jawapan affirmative yang dilakukan dengan muka simpati)

Tak meyakinkan langsung. 🙂

Btw, for normal guys, whether you think they are handsome or not, normal guys will think they are at least decent. Muka macam tongkang pecah pun, diorang akan rasa diorang decent. And that’s what make them attractive, their confidence. This you can’t change. Its by nature. 

Come on, mungkin you don’t want to give a wrong impression. Tak nak bagi harapan dan tak nak lelaki tu mengada-ngada kalau puji. Tapi most often than not, lelaki yang korang ada romantic interest pun korang tak nak layan sangat.

Sebagai contoh, if your significant other ada some advantage yang lebih sikit, perempuan jarang puji sangat. Sebab diorang takut diorang punya significant other tu terlebih perasan dan menggunakan kelebihan tu untuk tackle perempuan lain pulak and tinggalkan dia.

Again, I am generalizing here, but I think it is at least 65% true.

Plus, kita bukan cakap pasal mat rempit. Ini a decent guy.

At least kalau dia tak hensem pun, bagilah markah kesian (tapi jangan tunjuk kesian) kat dia. For guys we don’t discriminate (except perempuan tu terlampau gedik dan memang tak lawa). Kitorang at least akan buat dia rasa happy. Bukan kita tipu, tapi… kita cakap apa yang dia nak dengar. Kita tak sampai hati kecilkan hati orang. Lagi-lagi orang yang baik.

But girls…

Please girl. Next time remember.

“Hensemlah tu! Nak hensem macam mana lagi” (dengan stern face)
The guy will be surprised, pleased with himself , will respect you more and to some extent fall over you. Diorang akan rasa korang ni tegas, ada taste (not suprisingly). 🙂 

Ok, our Mars & Venus IOI lesson ends here.

Now, I can go back to sleep. Dah terluah apa yang terbuku di hati. hehe…

April 3, 2009

Confession of a Shopaholic

Filed under: Adventures — Sabri @ 8:11 pm

Saya baru selesai menonton filem Confession of a Shopalic di TGV KLCC semalam. Sebuah movie yang sangat menarik dan enjoy. Filem ini tidaklah memberi rasa kepuasan yang amat sangat yang saya rasakan seperti setelah menonton The Incredibles & Upin Ipin (movie-movie ini menyentuh semua deria), tetapi ia memberi perasaan sangat menyeronokkan yang jarang saya rasa. Saya ingat kepuasannya sama setelah menonton filem The Simpson. Ia kelakar yang pandai (bukan slapstik) sangat enjoyable dan memang 5 star! (hey, I should confer an award for this movie! – Click Here for complete list)

This is the first time in a long time I laugh merrily in the cinema (tak kacau orang lain, sebab orang lain tengah ketawa juga).

A must watch!

March 29, 2009

My Sister(s) Have a Weird Habit

Filed under: Mia Family — Sabri @ 4:43 am

I don’t understand why. I believe this is an isolated case and its not the case with all women, but I don’t know though. I have not met with enough women yet to make a judgement. And of course, I am secretly hoping that this is truly an isolated case. 

Ummairah;

Me: Merah, sebelum tidur, pasang ubat nyamuk. Nanti kena denggi macam mak susah.

Merah: (ignore me, pura2 masuk bilik tidur terus)

I know with all my sister(s), there is no use to coax or rationalize to them to do something that they don’t wanto. They will never listen. So, I let her sleep first. I will wake her up at 11 pm and disturb and nag her continuosly UNTIL she lights up the mosquito coil. She know I wont stop until she go and lights up the mosquito coil (NO, of course I can’t do that FOR her, it’s my RESPONSIBILITY as the big bro to show her that she MUST take care of herself and not be too dependent on others-hehe– but of course, don’t worry. I wont do this to my wifey-to be. :p ).

I thought she has done so, but apparently not. The story below is relayed to me by Kak Ana (Sabriza) who are at the living room at that time.

What this Ummairah bertuah will do is, she goes out and sit at the living room for 5 minutes before she went back to her room (she still don’t lights up the mosquito coil though). Kak Ana asked her, what are you doing here? (as she was asleep before). She said, “Abang suruh pasang ubat nyamuk”.

Lah. She went out just to fool me, so that I think she spent the 5 minutes to light up the mosquito coil.

She was more willing to waste 5 minutes sitting at the living room doing nothing before resuming her sleep than pasang ubat nyamuk which also take 5 minutes and guarantee a more comfortable sleep.

I went back to my hometown this weekend, and she pulled the same antic when my mom asked her to buy nasi minyak for both of us while she get ready before sending her to school. 

And when I see Ummairah attitude, I remember Kak. Ana.

For obvious reason that she and her friends is reading this blog, so I shall spare her the embarassment. But let it be known that my sister(s) share this weird trait.

You just cannot argue or try to rationalize with them. They wont listen to you.

Denggi, hunger, gastric even death maybe can’t make them change their mind. :p

Ummar is much better. We men can change our decision if there is a rational reason. 

 

(padan muka kak ana! serve you right! Cerita pasal siput & basikal tu)

March 26, 2009

Lessons on Love

Filed under: Lessons on Love — Sabri @ 4:46 am

My mom always remind us (my siblings) this:

“Bercinta boleh, tetapi jangan beri 100% hati kita sebab nanti kalau tak jadi, merana.”

Saya tahu kata-kata seorang ibu itu ada kebenarannya, lebih-lebih lagi memandangkan beliau lebih dulu makan garam dari kita. Dan, memang terbukti kebenarannya pun kerana saya turut mengalaminya.

Walaupun begitu, saya tetap tidak bersetuju 100% dengan kenyataan di atas.

Pada saya jika seseorang itu wanita, ya. Saya amat cadangkan supaya wanita tidak memberikan hatinya dan apa sahaja sekali pun secara 100% kepada mana-mana lelaki sebelum berkahwin. (because my sis is reading. Tak sure dia nak mumayyiz ke belum, jadi kena guna statement camnih.. ahaxz)

Namun, bagi seseorang lelaki saya percaya mereka perlu memberikan 100% hati mereka.

Dan walaupun saya katakan tidak apa untuk mereka (wanita) tidak memberikan 100% dari hati mereka, tetapi mereka wajar memberi 100% usaha dan komitmen untuk menjayakan hubungan mereka.

Here why:

Saya khuatir, jika kita tidak memberi 100% kepada hubungan tersebut kerana bimbang hubungan tersebut akan berakhir, hubungan tersebut akan betul-betul berakhir kerana kita tidak memberi 100%!

Agak berbelit, tetapi cuba anda fahamkan betul-betul.

  • Supaya cinta itu kekal, kita perlu beri komitmen yang tinggi.
  • Jika kita tidak memberi komitmen yang tinggi, cinta pasti tidak akan kekal.
  • Tetapi kita tidak mahu pula memberi komitmen yang tinggi selagi kita tidak yakin cinta itu akan kekal.

It’s a catch 22 situation.

Pada saya, I give my all in a relationship. I don’t care if the other person will stay or not. Apa yang penting, jika ada sesuatu yang terjadi kemudian hari dalam hidup saya, saya boleh berpaling kembali dan berkata,

“Saya tidak menyesal because I have given it my all. ”

Saya tidak mahu nanti saya masih menyimpan harapan, dan isteri saya pada ketika itu tersiksa sebab suaminya masih simpan harapan pada kekasih lama sebab asyik terfikir, “Kalau lah.. Kalau lah”.

Pada saya, kalau ada lelaki yang tidak memberi sepenuh komitmen dalam perhubungan, lebih baik stay single. Sebab ia akan  menyusahkan dan melukakan hati orang lain yang tidak bersalah.

Jika wanita, saya dapat terima. Mereka lebih fragile dan hati mereka lebih emosional. Jadi mereka dimaafkan jika tidak dapat memberi 100%

Hernan Cortes membakar kapalnya supaya tenteranya yang kecil tidak berfikir untuk berundur dan akhirnya dapat menewaskan bala tentera Montezuma yang lebih jauh besar dan dikatakan kebal. Itu mindset untuk berjaya dalam apa juga yang kita buat dalam hidup.

Kalau kita banyak beri alasan dalam hidup, selamanya lah kita jadi average. Mungkin ada orang yang tidak kisah jadi average. But its pathetic actually. Tuhan jadikan kita sebagai khalifah di dunia sebab Dia nak kita jadi hebat. Sebab itu dia jadikan kita Khalifah. Kalau dia nak kita jadi biasa, average, dia akan jadikan kita salah satu pokok di hutan. Good is the enemy of great. Bukan semua orang perlu jadi Perdana Menteri. Bukan semua orang perlu jadi angkasawan. Bukan semua orang perlu panjat gunung Everest. Tetapi semua orang perlu jadi hebat in their own little way. Semua orang perlu step up to the plate and do something.

Living is a team sport. In team sport, everybody need to participate. Tidak ada pasukan yang boleh menang jika ada ahli pasukannya yang jadi penumpang dan hanya melihat. Ketamadunan manusia tidak akan berkembang jika semua kita hanya mahu jadi average.

Lelaki, kita mungkin dikecewakan juga tetapi, “So what? Big deal.”.  Bukannya kita tidak ada kekuatan untuk bangun balik. Tambahan pula, saya lelaki. Saya tahu bagaimana dan apa yang lelaki fikirkan. Women should be wary of guys who did not give 100%, especially among the younger ones. There are no reason not to.

Maybe, I was hurt once.

Maybe, my mom is true.

But I knew deep inside. What I believe is right. There’s no joy in receiving without giving, at least for me. Maybe that’s because I have a lot to give.  

To punish others for one ungrateful person,  for me its not fair. I know the world is full of wonderful people. 

I will still give my all.

 

Gracefully Written,

His Awesomeness Sabri,

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