Life; The Next Chapter

Somebody tell me (and I believe somebody else tell her that), I always get what I want in life.

I am not too proud of it because it’s bordering “takbur”, but yeah, I silently want to believe so.

First, I like to clarify that I get what I want not because I was born with a silver spoon in mouth or because I have a shit load of money I can do anything I want about it. I got what I want from life because I worked hard to get it and because I let nothing stop me from getting it. Sometimes I am strategic, most of the time I just steamrolled my way.

It help also by having a small list of what you want (I don’t want fancy cars, flashy gadgets etc).

I don’t like being told I can’t do something for whatsoever reason that is beyond my control.

If I really want to do something and was told for whatsoever reason that is beyond my control I can’t, you can bet I will find a way to do it. Sometimes it might cost me a little bit more, most of the time I have to be a little bit more resourceful to find a better way to get around the blocking wall.

Randy Pausch in his final lecture says that the wall is not there to stop you. The wall is there to stop people who are not deserving and people who do not really want what they are after.

I do not give up.

A lot of people give crappy excuse why they can’t and why they don’t deserve something.

I hate people like these. They are not only tormenting themselves but they are also being unfair to others. I don’t care if people like this do harm to themselves, but I am riled up if it affect others which they sure will do.

On a related story. I plan to visit the Angkor Watt temple this August with my housemates. I have even booked the flight ticket and hotel. Two days ago I just realize that the date clash with my convocation ceremony date.

No big deal, I will have to cancel the trip. But deep in my heart, I know I still want to go there, if I can’t go then, I will go now. I don’t want the convocation become the wall that stop me from going to Cambodia. Its very pathetic!

Then I started checking the available dates. My heart want to go this month (because Ramadhan starts in August). But my head says its not a wise choice. My sister is coming home and everyone in my family will come to KL. Effectively we will be having a short vacation in KL. Two vacations in a month sounds too much, what more if I am the one who will be paying for both.

So last night I slept promising myself to follow my head and not my heart.

This morning, my heart acted up. I should not go in July. But I can still go in August, September or next year! So I checked the available date, I found out that early August, there is another irresistible deal for a trip to Siem Reap (angkor watt). I make a quick analysis with my head and my head could not find any credible objection.

I did not give up. A clash on date does not mean I should give up on my plan. When you really want something, doors will somehow open up for you.

So Angkor Watt, I am still coming this August!

Sabri

If your school teacher said you are stupid, don’t believe him. I make a mistake when I did. Although externally I am denying it and consistently telling myself I am not but internally I was resigned to accept that label.

Until this weekend when 2 professors tell me that I am clever and they want me to do an open heart surgery on them. At that moment I discover, “Hey, I am not stupid! If I am stupid, these professors won’t allow me to operate them”.

This is just an analogy (I don’t want to sound shallow repeating my sad story over and over again, hence I use a smart, meaningful analogy). My teacher in this story might be your teacher, parents, wife or girlfriend. Whatever it is do not settle for what they assume you can achieve, always strive to maximize your potential.

If you notice, I started another section in this blog called “An empowering notes to myself“. Some of the notes are too personal to be publish publicly, I have to password protect it.

However, do not worry. Whenever I learned a lessons that I think can benefit you, I will share.

Some of you might think, “What Sabri is thinking about? He has achieve something quite significantly in a relatively young age”.

Very true and agreed.

But in this world there are a lot of things you can do and excel at. I am not looking for achievement anymore, its in my DNA already. I am seeking for more fulfillment and significance now.

And if you are like my sister, Sabriza you might have an easy answer for this. But no.

I am not looking for THAT type of answer. I am looking for a more specific, step by step answer that can fulfill me. Fulfillment is a lot of things. And Sabriza, I DO truly know what you want to say. Don’t.

I don’t want to talk about love again in this post. If it looks like I am talking about love, please read between the lines, please see the context which I say it. I sacrifice 2 hours of sleep for this post. I definitely will not write something self serving for that (or maybe…tell me. hehe).

My sis said I have a high taste. But I am really not. What I am looking for is a woman who can break free from her self limiting belief.

What is that suppose to mean? Let me explain.

Have you watch Musang Berjanggut?

To sum the movie up, P. Ramlee (the hero) travel far and wide looking for wife. He want to marry an intelligent lady. He did something to differentiate between normal, average ladies and the one who is suitable to become his wife. He mixed rices, herbs and spices into one sack and he gave it to the ladies, asking them to cook it.

All of the ladies upon seeing the content of the sack will return it back to him and say that they will use ingredients available in the house instead. Except one smart lady, who carefully separate the ingredients and cook it. She knows that P. Ramlee is a smart man and he did mix the content of the sack for a purpose.

This show the heroin at least has three important qualities, she is dependable, attentive and trust her husband.

Let’s fast forward today:

My mom will definitely freak out if I did what P. Ramlee did in Musang Berjanggut. But I see today our society has the same limiting belief.

In Musang Berjanggut movie, the self limiting belief is:

In my case, I am looking for woman who can break through her self limiting belief.

Why? And how we know that person has breakthrough his or her limiting belief?

When he or she takes full responsibility with his or her action.

Quote-quote di atas menunjukkan yang sentiasa ada pihak satu lagi yang bersalah atau yang menentukan sesuatu. Betul dan saya setuju, kita yang merancang dan Tuhan yang menentukan. Namun acapkali alasan-alasan di atas digunakan untuk menutup hakikat bahawa kita tidak mencuba yang terbaik. Acap sangat.

Semua lain, orang tak faham, atau semua orang lain faham macam lain.

Takut untuk berbeza dan mungkin kematangan tu belum ada.

Kefahaman saya adalah, apa juga yang terjadi adalah pilihan kita.

Termasuklah kalau pasangan itu memilih untuk curang atau berpisah.

Jangan salahkan jodoh. Sendiri pilih untuk berpisah, sendiri pilih untuk curang. Accept full responsibility.

Disclaimer: Ada self limiting belief yang bagus dan tidak wajar untuk kita break free. Do not engage in sex before marriage is an example of a self limiting belief yang bagus. I am referring to the other.

Sebagai contoh, ramai wanita yang berpendapat lumrah bahawa memang susah nak get along dengan mak mertua (even before diorang kenal pun). Ini self limiting belief! Belum jumpa lagi dah letak impression macam tu, nanti kalau jumpa perasaan kekok, janggal, kayu tu akan ada. Bila ada perasaan macam tu, memang susahlah nak get along well.

Itu satu contoh yang mudah.

Dan satu lagi self limiting belief yang orang biasa ada, tak kira lelaki dan perempuan, dia hebat. Dia lain. Dia bolehlah.

No, takdenya benda camtu. Anda yang meletakkan halangan kepada diri anda sendiri sebab itu anda tidak boleh. Sebab itu anda terasa kecil. Sebab Jiwa Anda Kecil!

Kalau anda sibuk, ramai lagi orang lebih sibuk dari anda. Kalau anda under qualified, ramai lagi orang yang under qualified dari anda. Kalau anda lemah, ramai lagi orang yang lebih lemah dari anda.

Tapi anda tidak tahu mengenai kekurangan mereka, sebab mereka berjiwa besar. They focus on what they do, and be grateful with what they have. Never they mention their limiting belief.

Dr Sheikh Muzaphar, hate him or love him, he is a pretty decent man.

Maybe some say he is born in a well to do family, sponsored to become an astraunout, blessed with a good look, etc.

But not many highlight that initially he is juggling his work as a doctor (and a lot of doctors say they don’t have time, on call 48 hours etc), part time career as a model (even before he become an astronaut), and still in the selection exercise he manage to complete the physically exhausting challenge to become an astronaut!

These is not a small feat.

If he can, definitely you can! Because you are human too. Jiwa kena besar!

Jangan bila tengok pencapaian orang lain rasa jealous, cemburu, iri hati ataupun KERDIL (lama-lama akan membawa kepada perasaan mazmumah juga). Tetapi cuba rasa termotivasi, rasa nak jadi macam tu juga. JIWA KENA BESAR.

Kenapa saya nak cari wanita yang boleh free from her self limiting belief?

Because then only I will get a woman who can support me, encourage me, inspire me AND at the same time love me for who I am.

If you think you are not worthy of this or you are not this type of woman (or man) ,

KNOW THAT YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM THIS DISEASE.

You might think its okay. Its liveable. Its not bad. But be aware, its your self limiting belief mode.

You are basically telling yourself, “My Shit Smells Nice. I don’t mind smelling it all day. After all, it’s My Shit.” Over and over again. Full Stop.

We may not get it right all the time. If you get it 75% of the time, its good enough.

So, as a conclusion: “Does Your Shit Smell Nice?”

Failing is subjective. For me, there is nothing wrong with failing. Failing is just the result of a test. I think educated people like us know that failing is not a bad thing (eg: the quickest way to success is to fail faster, etc).  Never heard of this? Contact me so that I can arrange for you to get an earful.

What is more important is that we learn why we fail. Here I will lists a few reasons why people fail, and see if you can relate to it.

1) You Don’t Know the Purpose of the Game – What do you Really Want?

Happened to me when I am in standard 6. Semua orang study, so I study. I know that I need to get 5A in UPSR but I don’t know the real purpose of the game. Semua orang suruh study, suruh study, cakap kalau dapat 5A boleh masuk asrama penuh. Tapi still ia tidak cukup mengujakan. Memang best masuk asrama penuh, tapi kalau masuk pun so what?

I was not told the real purpose of getting 5As.

Kalaulah parents saya bagitau saya, belajar rajin-rajin supaya dapat 5A dan dapat masuk asrama penuh sebab there are more awek cuns in asrama penuh than in sekolah harian, then maybe I will study hard and really get 5A. Sebab I nampak jelas matlamatnya.

The same kalau anda nak kurus atau anda nak belajar rajin-rajin dan dapat 4 flat.

Nak kurus bukan matlamatnya. Nak dapat 4 flat bukan matlamatnya.

Kenapa anda nak kurus? Anda nak buat orang jeles? Anda nak rasa hebat?

Kenapa anda nak 4 flat? Nak dapat etc money so that you can use it for travel?

Tell yourself. Write it. Always, always be clear on what is your ultimate purpose. 

2) You Have 100000 Rules on How the Game Should Be Played

Hidup anda banyak syaratnya. Sebagai contoh, nak study kena pergi library. Dekat rumah banyak gangguan, tak boleh study.

Nak happy time dating, bf/gf kena puji-puji dan kena bagi hadiah.

Nak itu mesti ini. Etc.

Meletakkan syarat pada diri sendiri ini adalah antara punca kegagalan dan punca hidup anda statik. Berapa kali kita katakan pada diri kita,

Nantilah. Bila (xxxxx) aku buat. Tapi bila xxxxx terjadi kita dah tak ada mood untuk buat.

I think the most important thing in life is to enjoy it. We enjoy our life by constantly taking action. Whether we are right or we are wrong, its still a lesson learnt. 

Actually, I have more to write. But let think about these two first. It seems simple but I can recall a lot of occassion when something happened to me due for both reasons. It really applies to all aspects of our life. Study, romance, careers, friendship, etc.

His Awesomeness,

Sabri