Life; The Next Chapter

Recently I discovered that I have another weakness (beside being not attentive to details). I found that I am not very creative and it is difficult for me to do something if I cannot envision what the end result will look like. Whenever I do something, I need to know what it will look like when it is done, if not I will be stuck in the middle of the process forever figuring out what to do. I am more of an innovator, totally not an inventor.

To explain it simply, if I do a jigsaw puzzle, I need to see what the picture looks like as a guide before I can do it. I cannot go in blind.

Its the same in work and in life (one of the reason why I suffer in calculus).

Because of this I learn to ask questions to get clarification. I asked a lot of questions. Some times silly questions to make sure I don’t miss a thing. I learned the hard way multiple time from experience, hence I am not shy to ask questions. I know if I am not sure of what I am doing, I will face a lot of hardship trying to complete something that I myself don’t understand.

I am in a dilemma right now.

Sometimes I felt like I asked too many questions, sometimes it might made people uncomfortable. For examples, today I was briefed on how to do a certain report. The person doing it now will go for an oversea assignment in a week (he has been doing it for one and half years). And now, I got a week to learn to do it. The next report will come from me.

And to complete that report, I need to liaise with more than 15 peoples whom most of them are not in KL. Worst, I don’t know any of them and they don’t know me either! Usually I will only have about 5 days to do the report.

And I am expected to “download” all the information and experiences my predecessor possess into my brain in these 3 days and to make sure the consistency of the report.

You can imagine how many questions I asked.

Hmm… I relish the challenge. I think in this situation, it is justified to ask a lot of questions plus he doesn’t mind.

Today, I also attended another meeting to discuss the unit’s KPI. Initially I was told that because I am new, I will not have a KPI of my own for a certain period of time (months). However, today I was advised to have my own KPI too, to make sure I will be evaluated fairly and not rated poorly at the end of the year.

Because of this conflicting information, it made me uncomfortable and from my past experience, things like this will only lead to disaster later if not addressed and clarified. So I sat down with my SM and asked her about her expectation of me, who will evaluate me and etc.

She is helpful and very motherly. I am grateful that I got a very supportive boss. Now it is all clear and understood.

However afterwards in my daily reflection ritual, I became less sure of myself. Do I asked too many questions? Do I got too carried away? I know this inquisitive attitude was appreciated at my old workplace, but right now I am working in a predominantly Asian office culture. In Asian culture, questions are not encouraged. People are told not to rock the boat.

So, am I doing the right thing? What your thought about this?

Today, I also made a fool out of myself.

There is a colleague of mine who is 4-6 weeks pregnant (forgot already the exact weeks). She was taking MC & she does not feel well so a lot of people talked about it. And because I am trying to be friendly, I strike up a conversation. And I am curious about one thing.

From my untrained eyes, she appear normal. How did she know she was pregnant?

I thought she was feeling sick and when she went to the doctor and when the doctor checked, then the doctor found out that she was pregnant. Worse I told her this. She just laugh, I am so naive!

A 2.5 year old boy might look cute when he asked this question, but when a 25 years old adult asked this, its totally not cute anymore right? (I forgot about the menstrual cycle)

Damn. I really should think before asking.

And asking questions has become part of my SOP in social events as well. Again, from my experience I am not comfortable when people asked me a lot of stuff. As I have a complex mind, my answers are usually weird to some people. So I learned a method on how to avoid this.

When I met people, I asked them questions about themselves before they can even got a chance to ask me questions about myself. And because human like to talk about themselves, usually I got away with this technique. However, sometimes I got too carried away and show my naiveness. I asked silly questions.

I don’t want to sound like Pak Pandir you know. I really should be careful with my mouth. What do you say?

Hmm…

Seronok pula rasanya buat ala-ala press conference ni. Jimat masa di kala ada banyak benda hendak ditulis tetapi tak tahu macam-mana nak bermula. Jadi dipersembahkan kepada anda sekali lagi, sidang media #2 dengan Mr President of Sabrination.

Q: How’s your new place?

A: Initially, memang a little bit awkward. I don’t know what to expect. Tetapi sekarang rasanya, I have got the hang of thing. Rasa macam dan 2 minggu di sana. People are friendly, I am adapting well into the new role and hopefully things will improve from here.

One huge difference dengan tempat lama adalah the warm and friendly culture. Di sini lunch biasanya dalam kumpulan kecil ataupun secara individu sahaja (tapau di office), di MV biasanya lunch beramai-ramai (8-10 org) dan more laid back. Waktu mula-mula sampai ada juga rasa nak ter-shout “Good Morning” dengan enthusiastic kepada semua orang (kebiasaan di MV), tetapi waktu suara baru je nak keluar baru terlihat suasana yang berbeza. People are friendly too here, but not that expressive. It is more Asian and reserved here.

Q: Macam mana status Project AB?

A: Last week, very positive. Tapi this week nampak macam momentum dah hilang. Bola dah ping, tengah tunggu pong je sebelum di ping semula. Kalau tak pong juga anytime this week, kira misi gagal, abort mission lah.

(soalan ni tak faham tak apa. Teknikal jargon. hehe…) :p

Q: Kenapa slow sangat progress projek AB?

A: Tak sure owner nak buka tender ataupun just nak buat direct negotiation. Requirements owner pun tak dapat lagi. Very early to say anything now.

Ada soalan yang saya terima mengenai status berat saya yang terkini. 🙂 Adakah saya semakin kurus dan semakin hensem? Saya malas nak cakap banyak, a picture is worth a thousand words. And seeing is believing, jadi anda boleh lihat sendiri sama ada saya semakin hensem & kurus atau tidak. Ahaxz.. 😉

During CSR Visit at Zoo Negara

Itu dari depan untuk menguji tahap kehenseman. Untuk membuktikan tahap kekurusan pula, berikut adalah side profile. 🙂 Picture does not lie tau. hehe… Oh ya, biasanya saya tak link kan gambar kecil kepada gambar yang besar. Tetapi untuk memastikan gambar di bawah tidak diragui keasliannya, anda boleh klik pada gambar tersebut untuk melihat versi besar.

Side Profile- Boleh jadi pengacara Roda Impian

So, amacam? 😉

Added Later:

Sebelum ini saya sangat susah untuk dilihat dalam pakaian formal. Walaupun begitu tidak bermaksud saya selalu selekeh, cuma saya lebih selesa memakai jeans dan t-shirt. But because of  of that, I paid a heavy price for it in my life. Perceptions.

Dan untuk rakan-rakan yang tak percaya this day can come (yes, can and not will.), feast your eyes! :p

Another one with a very innocent look;

Which come from this group picture;

Sabri

I am currently attending a course. It is a 16 days course designed to made your blood go green (emerald green to be exact) ~in the words of our facilitator. It is definitely a good experience and a good program. One biggest take away for me (there should be a few-but as I have gone through numerous courses before, I have learned pretty much of it before)

If you have followed this blog for some time, you will notice that I don’t have that many self limiting belief and I don’t pay that much attention to peoples’ perception. However, as a normal human being, sometimes I do let other people impose their limiting belief on me. It is happening unconsciously. And I am reminded again, it is not a nice feeling to be living with this self limiting belief.

Perception is just a view point. Most of the time it is biased and skewed. It is proven time and time again for me during this course.

For example in my case, I am slightly overweight. Hence, people close to me always assume that I am unfit.

And because I could not care less of what people think of me, I don’t mind. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This include people who are dear (or once was) to me. Unconsciously, this influence me as well.

In this course we are doing a few outdoor physical activities which require strength and fitness.

And each time, I became nervous. As this will be a team activity and each person was required to pass it before the whole group can move on, I became more agitated. I don’t want to be the person who let the team down. But apparently my worry was unfounded. I did quite well, and in some activity I directly contributed to the team achievements (we clocked the best time in a few activities and won the volleyball competition -overcoming a gap of 14 points from behind to win, thanks to yours truly serve).

In another case, during our CSR visit to Zoo Negara, I helped the zoo keeper to move few sacks of pellets (50kg each), something which I don’t know I can still do (once upon a time ago, I am able to do that, before I let people perception creeps in).

I found my confidence back in doing physical activities. I am normal. I can’t understand how I can let other people opinion affect my own valuation of myself. I am very fit and able to participate actively in outdoor activities!

Conclusion for this post; I know this is super cheesy and dramatic. But I still want to say it although it sounds very weird. I feel like a man again. :p

I have been planning to write about this for some time but couldn’t find the time to do it and whenever the opportunity came I kind of not in the mood. However, today I think I have both the mood and the time. So here it goes.

What Does It Mean to Be An Adult?

I have spent some time thinking about the answers to the above question. The weird thing is, whenever I thought about it, I keep getting different answers. But lately, the same one keep reappearing in my head. Maybe its a hint to me that finally I almost found the correct answer.

So, What Does Being an Adult Mean to Me?

For me, it means I am making smarter choices in life. Before, I don’t like to drink plain water. I prefer sweet drink instead (a few times a day). I also don’t eat any vegetables. Now, I drank a lot of plain water every day (nearly 8 glasses a day if not more). I also significantly reduce my sugar intake (once a day only, if any) and start eating my vegetables, at least once a day.

The best part is, it has become a habit.

Means, I am not struggling to do that anymore. It has become a habit for me. When offered sweet drinks, it is perfectly normal for me to decline and asked for plain water instead. I am also willing to pay RM 1.50 to buy mineral water than to spend the same amount to buy Coke or juice. That’s a significant change for me.

Making Friends as an Adult

Being an adult also means I am less susceptible to peer pressure and I am ever ready to put my feet down and stand up for myself instead of being pushed around. I am perfectly happy only to be close to people that I want to and do not feel compelled to entertain and befriend everybody, especially if I thought they are a negative influence.

Nobody can force me to do something that I don’t want to do.

Living Life and Achieving Success in Life

I have a colourful past. I am pretty satisfied with it and I can honestly say I achieve a lot. However, this past few days I am thinking and benchmarking myself. What am I doing right now? What track I am on as of now?

Then, a realization hit me and I am grateful for that.

I realize that I am living my dream and I could not ask for a better today than what I am going through. This is the best day of my life! I am still writing my life-book and the prospect is bright.

I am grateful for the achievements of my past and very grateful for the achievements I am creating today and achievements I will be creating tomorrow. I know for a fact not many adults can claim so, a lot carries a lot of regrets and baggage with them.

This is important because I realize I am not living in my past. I am not wishing for a better future either. But I am busy, creating the life that I want to be in. Busy being present. What a really wonderful feeling to have and I am forever grateful to Allah for blessing me.

For me, these are what it means to be an adult.

In the next articles, I will wrote more about decision-making as an adult. 🙂

Mucho Gracias!

Sabri
Young Adult