Sabri.me, Inside Out

A-Type Geek, All Around Family Man

Category: Lessons on Love

Bukan Seorang

Minggu lepas aku sepatutnya ke Melaka seperti yang dirancang. Namun aku menukar rancangan dan pergi ke Ipoh. Di samping bercuti dan lari dari kesibukan kota, aku berkesempatan untuk memberi personal workshop kepada 2 orang apprentices yang aku harapkan menyertai aku mengembangkan empayar bisnes, F & A (bukan MLM atau berline-line aaa, ini department manager aku). Bukan calang-calang orang, mereka telah ditapis dan disaring berkali-kali dan aku percaya, bertiga kami boleh membina sesuatu yang luar biasa.

Di samping itu, kami juga bercerita mengenai cinta. A juga rupanya mengalami situasi yang sama sepertiku. Bahkan mungkin lebih dasyat kerana A telah bersama lebih 4 tahun (aku cuma 3 tahun 8 bulan).

Tadi aku juga ada kesempatan untuk surfing sedikit, dan terjumpa sebuah blog oleh seorang lelaki cool. Nampaknya beliau turut sama mengalami situasi yang sama macam aku. Berikut adalah komen yang beliau tinggal di blog A.

Cinta Yang Pernah Hadir

Cinta Yang Pernah Hadir

Dan seperti biasa, aku terminat pula untuk mengetahui kisah orang yang pernah melalui apa yang aku pernah lalui. Jadi aku pun menyelongkar blognya. Lihat apa yang aku jumpa:

Bila lelaki benar-benar jatuh cinta dan setia pada kekasihnya dengan ikhlas,perubahan sikapnya amat mengejtkan. Hati lelaki yang dianggap keras selama ini, tiba-tiba secara semulajadi menjadi selembut kapas apabila sudah jatuh cinta dengan relanya. Bahkan lelaki yang mabuk cinta sanggup berkorban dan buat apa sahaja untuk kekasihnya.Sekeras manapun hati lelaki ia akan mengalirkan air mata apabila hatinya dilukai. untuk melihat lelaki menangis amatlah payah.

Diantara tanda-tanda lelaki yang jatuh cinta dengan hebat ialah:

1. Dia bersungguh-sungguh melakukan sesuatu untuk kekasihnya dengan rela bukan kerana terpaksa.

2. Dia sentiasa ingin menghiburkan kekasihnya dan berubah menjadi orang yang kuat bercakap.

3. Dia banyak menasihati kekasihnya kerana dia amat menyayangi kekasihnya.

4. Dia berusaha mengongkong kebebasan kekasihnya kerana perasaan cemburunya yang meluap-luap.

5. Dia sentiasa takut kehilangan kekasihnya.

6. Dia sentiasa mengawasi pergerakan kekasihnya kerana dia sentiasa berasa curiga.

7. Dia tidak suka ada lelaki lain rapat dengan kekasihnya.

8. Dia mudah merasa cemburu dan sensitif apabila kekasihnya tidak menumpukan sepenuh perhatian kepadanya.

9. Adakalanya dia seperti seorang anak kecil yang meminta perhatian kerana dia mahu kekasihnya melayannya lebih dari orang lain.

10. Dia menjadi orang yang paling rajin dan sanggup membantu kekasihnya melakukan apa saja.

11. Dia pandai merajuk hati kerana ingin dipujuk oleh kekasihnya.

12. Dia akan mengelabah apabila kekasihnya berjauhan daripadanya terlalu lama.

13. Dia sentiasa mempastikan keselamatan kekasihnya.

14. Dia mementingkan kekasihnya daripada dirinya sendiri.

15. Dia kerap bertanya adakah kekasihnya mencintainya kerana dia merasa kasihnya lebih kuat daripada kekasihnya.

16. Dia tidak akan melayan perempuan lain yang tidak ada urusan penting dengannya.

17. Dia cuba meluangkan lebih banyak masa dengan kekasihnya walaupun terpaksa menunggu kekasihnya dengan sabar.

18. Dia membanggakan kekasihnya di depan orang lain.

19. Kalau ditinggalkan oleh kekasihnya, ia akan berasa serik dan tidak percaya dengan cinta perempuan lain namun dia sentiasa mengharap kekasihnya kembali kepadanya.

20. Apabila timbul orang ketiga, dia akan hilang akal dan sanggup berbuat apa saja untuk merebut kembali kekasihnya.

21. Dia menganggap kekasihnya sebagai orang yang paling dipercayainya dan sanggup menyerahkan harta walaupun nyawanya sendiri.

22. Dia tidak akan berlaku curang kepada kekasihnya namun jikalau dia berbuat demikian itu bererti hatinya belum 100 peratus mencintai kekasihnya.

23. Bukan semua lelaki sanggup menitiskan airmata hanya untuk seorang perempuan. HARGAILAH MEREKA

Kepada semua wanita yang bertuah menerima cinta sebegini dari seorang lelaki… Hargailah mereka seadaanya… kerna jika seorang lelaki itu menangis ditinggalkan teman wanitanya, lihatlah, bertapa bodohnya wanita itu…

Baca perenggan terakhir. 100% true.

Rupa-rupanya bukan sekadar seorang lelaki menjadi mangsa. Kenapa sesetengah wanita hari ini tidak dapat menilai antara permata dan kaca?

Fikir-fikirkan.

Sabri

Recommended Watch

The ghost of girlfriends past is a must watch movie I will recommend to any insecure, H type girls and boys out there. It is not a ghost story, it’s a chickflick but full with smart and brilliant messages.

ghosts_of_girlfriends_past

I will share with you 2.

First, when you love someone, get closer. Not run away from it and then try to justify your action.

Second, the path for forgiveness is open for people who repent. It is always open, we just need to put our ego aside.

That’s all folks!

Sabri

Saya Tak Faham

Sedang saya browse Facebook profile rakan-rakan tadi, saya terjumpa nota berikut dalam aktiviti tagging.

Have You Cheat: Yes
Broken Someone’s Heart: Ada
Your Status Currently: Single

Kawan saya ini baik. Sekali tengok (banyak kali tengok pun) tak akan sangka yang dia ni macam ni.

She might have her own reason.

But I have saw, and met people who did just that without a valid reason.

And I strongly believe AT LEAST 65% people who did the above did without a valid reason. Dan most of the time orang yang buat macam ini adalah orang yang abuse kelebihan yang dianugerahkan.

For people who did not have a valid reason, I hope God reciprocate. Cash di dunia. Berkali-kali sehinggalah diorang betul-betul sedar.

Notes From Friends and Lovers

Sometimes I think friendship is better than loves. On the wall beside my bed is a frame containing notes from my friends about me. It was voluntary and written only because they feel I have somehow touch their life. I was blessed to read their kind, honest and sincere words.

I use to have similar notes written by someone I used to love (luckily I don’t frame it)

What I figure out is your lovers can make a u turn and suddenly say that she never ever meant what she wrote (although it was documented again and again and again for few years) and you can do nothing about it. And you have to finally resigned to the fact that you have lose her.

[singlepic id=17 w=320 h=240 float=center]

Plus you have to bear in mind that all the notes, letters and emails are useless because the writer herself has no integrity that usually what cause the relationship to crumble in the 1st place.

But with friends, I believe this rarely happened. They have no motive to make you feel good and document it and if they do, you can indeed be sure that they are genuine.

Plus if a 10+ people consistently saying the same traits they see in you, you can be sure that it is true. Later on in life, one or two might have their integrity compromised, but definitely not all.

Lots of love and gratitude,

Sabri

One Picture Tells a Thousand Words

I have been told once before (a few years ago), I look lonely in my pictures. I was alone and I don’t have many pictures with my friends. Well, I have forgotten who said that to me, but I do remember the quote. I never give a thought about it and don’t think people care about such trivial matter, but apparently someone does!

I don’t care much actually. But today I will post a sort of team photo of me with my friends (some colleagues are not in the office).

sabriandfriends

This is the best team and company (on 2nd thought, it might be the 2nd. Because mine will be the 1st  😉  ) I ever worked with (I admit I did not has experiences working with another company).  Just to give you an idea, they are in the top 100 SME in Malaysia (Missed the top 50 SME awards by a few points) and THE ONLY COMPANY in Asia that won the World Democratic Workplace Award (2 times in a row)

I do my internship here and I learned a tonne. If there is one mistake I make about this company, it is UNDERESTIMATING them. I thought they pay well (because they are a US company).

But hell no.

They pay quite well, but that’s not all.

They are brilliant, amazing, awesome people. I never had 35 awesome, kind hearted, successful, smart, fun people surround me AT THE SAME TIME before (at most, there will be 10-20).

During this internship, I learned a lot. Not only the technical stuff (I learned how to use MAC Book), but also things that are much bigger than that such as life skills etc.

And no. This is not your regular life lessons that you learned from your average senior at the office. They are extraordinarily awesome, eccentric (so like me). They are the proof that you can be street smart and book smart at the same time.

I am grateful I accidentally found out that their HQ is in Malaysia a year ago (know them for a few years already, but never know that they operate from Malaysia). And I am grateful UTP has 8 months compulsory internship requirement. Which without, I might never experience life here.

*This is the team pictures with John Assaraf. One of the teacher in The Secret Movie, and an accomplished author.

He’s Not That Into You? Worst Movie Ever!

When”He’s Not That Into You” hit the local cinemas, I was excited. I thought. “Well another good chickflick to enjoy”  (after COAS). Plus I recall seeing somewhere in my sis blog, look like she and her friends are totally into it. Should be fun. 🙂

 

But apparently not.

 

The movie itself is okay. Its not bad.

 

But I think the messages that the movie are trying to deliver are totally misleading AND downright stupid!

 

This is not a movie you should watch with your girlfriend. Especially if she is naive and not so mature. 

 

From what I understand, this movie tell us that it is okay for you to leave a relationship under the pretext, that “the spark is not there“.

 

Which is not totally untrue. BUT, the movie should highlight more on what of the actor says which I will rephrase:

 

“Guys made girls believe the spark exists. But it’s not! Guys created this spark by manipulating on the girl emotions and insecurity. ”

He plays hard to get, and at the same time he flatter her and sweep her off her feet. She is confused and the guys true feeling seems so mysterious and elusive to the girl. And the girl want to unravel this mystery. In this process, she feel something different. Of course she feels something different because in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), this is what we call as “breaking the patten”. 

 

When you “break the pattern”, or in layman terms you do something different from what you used to, of course you will feel some sensation.

 

And girls think this artificial sensation is love.

 

I don’t swear, but this is totally bs!

 

The sensation is so totally over commercialized. The dating guru over exploit this, and Hollywood movies create a mountain out of this mole. Its a cospiracy on a bigger proportion that Hang Tuah folklore. Not that I don’t believe it, but it has been overly repeated until we are not sure whether he exist or not. And if he exists whether he is really invicible or not. And if his is really invicible, whether it is Hang Jebat (Hikayat Hang Tuah) or Hang Kasturi (Sejarah Melayu) that he killed.

 

The same with this love spark thingy. 

 

And just in case you are in a relationship and you do feel “the spark”, know this. When you focus your attention and really believe in something, you will think its true. (have you heard of placebo effect?)

 

Totally bs!

 

To be fair to the movie, it shows both side of the coin. It also shows that in a relationship (Jennifer Aniston with I don’t know who), you can have love without having the spark. But it negates it by showing the other couple broke up because they did not have the spark anymore.

 

This is dangerously risky. For a mature and intelligent women, they can see and discern this.

 

But for naive girls that are often confused, what they really want. The movie will mislead them.

 

Not that one movie can influence girls, BUT the movie try to portray a fallacy that’s already on our mind as a truth, somebody will definitely believe it.

 

Some of my critics will say, life is unfair. And the movie is practical. It shows the reality.

 

Yeah I can agree that to some extent the movie is just portraying what already out there. But by showing it like that, it gave credibility to something that is not true.

 

Its absurd.

 

 

Doesn’t mean that if other people believe it,and they think its the truth and we should believe it too.

 

 

Not too long ago, public believe than Sun revolve around the earth. But they are proven wrong!

 

I believe we can create our destiny.

 

I also believe in qada & qadar.

 

But I also believe that God has promised us, he will grant whatever we asked, if we asked Him and worked for it (to summarize it of course). HE also went on to say, He wont change anyone unless that person change himself.

 

 

But to blame everything on qada & qadar, jodoh maut dan ajal according to our whim and fancy (which changes with time) of course is not correct!

 

Because from what I know and from what I learned,jodoh are supposed to be determined already. 

 

When first you say this is your jodoh and later you say its not, that’s wrong! That’s bullshit. That’s not jodoh. THAT’s YOU.

 

Why say “Takde jodoh” when its really you?

 

 

Lame.

 

Lame.

 

Lame.

 

Maybe it looks like I am venting my anger. Yes I am angry.

 

I like to watch chickflick, I find it entertaining. But I couldn’t watch a movie with stupid messages. I am angry when a movie try to make it audience believe that they are a loser. And losers’ life is cool. That’s so totally wrong!

 

 

The take away from this post is:

 

 

I believe we can create our destiny.

 

I also believe in qada & qadar.

 

But I also believe that God has promised us, he will grant whatever we asked, if we asked Him and worked for it (to summarize it of course). HE also went on to say, He wont change anyone unless that person change himself.

 

So can you. YOU CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY!

 

And don’t be stupid. If you have to choose between good and bad, you always go for the good one. Especially if its man. Justifying why you have to choose the bad one because it seems cool, THAT’S living in denial.

 

His Awesomeness,

 

Sabri

p/s: Phewww. That was brutal. I am still kind and nice though. 🙂

Lessons on Love

My mom always remind us (my siblings) this:

“Bercinta boleh, tetapi jangan beri 100% hati kita sebab nanti kalau tak jadi, merana.”

Saya tahu kata-kata seorang ibu itu ada kebenarannya, lebih-lebih lagi memandangkan beliau lebih dulu makan garam dari kita. Dan, memang terbukti kebenarannya pun kerana saya turut mengalaminya.

Walaupun begitu, saya tetap tidak bersetuju 100% dengan kenyataan di atas.

Pada saya jika seseorang itu wanita, ya. Saya amat cadangkan supaya wanita tidak memberikan hatinya dan apa sahaja sekali pun secara 100% kepada mana-mana lelaki sebelum berkahwin. (because my sis is reading. Tak sure dia nak mumayyiz ke belum, jadi kena guna statement camnih.. ahaxz)

Namun, bagi seseorang lelaki saya percaya mereka perlu memberikan 100% hati mereka.

Dan walaupun saya katakan tidak apa untuk mereka (wanita) tidak memberikan 100% dari hati mereka, tetapi mereka wajar memberi 100% usaha dan komitmen untuk menjayakan hubungan mereka.

Here why:

Saya khuatir, jika kita tidak memberi 100% kepada hubungan tersebut kerana bimbang hubungan tersebut akan berakhir, hubungan tersebut akan betul-betul berakhir kerana kita tidak memberi 100%!

Agak berbelit, tetapi cuba anda fahamkan betul-betul.

  • Supaya cinta itu kekal, kita perlu beri komitmen yang tinggi.
  • Jika kita tidak memberi komitmen yang tinggi, cinta pasti tidak akan kekal.
  • Tetapi kita tidak mahu pula memberi komitmen yang tinggi selagi kita tidak yakin cinta itu akan kekal.

It’s a catch 22 situation.

Pada saya, I give my all in a relationship. I don’t care if the other person will stay or not. Apa yang penting, jika ada sesuatu yang terjadi kemudian hari dalam hidup saya, saya boleh berpaling kembali dan berkata,

“Saya tidak menyesal because I have given it my all. ”

Saya tidak mahu nanti saya masih menyimpan harapan, dan isteri saya pada ketika itu tersiksa sebab suaminya masih simpan harapan pada kekasih lama sebab asyik terfikir, “Kalau lah.. Kalau lah”.

Pada saya, kalau ada lelaki yang tidak memberi sepenuh komitmen dalam perhubungan, lebih baik stay single. Sebab ia akan  menyusahkan dan melukakan hati orang lain yang tidak bersalah.

Jika wanita, saya dapat terima. Mereka lebih fragile dan hati mereka lebih emosional. Jadi mereka dimaafkan jika tidak dapat memberi 100%

Hernan Cortes membakar kapalnya supaya tenteranya yang kecil tidak berfikir untuk berundur dan akhirnya dapat menewaskan bala tentera Montezuma yang lebih jauh besar dan dikatakan kebal. Itu mindset untuk berjaya dalam apa juga yang kita buat dalam hidup.

Kalau kita banyak beri alasan dalam hidup, selamanya lah kita jadi average. Mungkin ada orang yang tidak kisah jadi average. But its pathetic actually. Tuhan jadikan kita sebagai khalifah di dunia sebab Dia nak kita jadi hebat. Sebab itu dia jadikan kita Khalifah. Kalau dia nak kita jadi biasa, average, dia akan jadikan kita salah satu pokok di hutan. Good is the enemy of great. Bukan semua orang perlu jadi Perdana Menteri. Bukan semua orang perlu jadi angkasawan. Bukan semua orang perlu panjat gunung Everest. Tetapi semua orang perlu jadi hebat in their own little way. Semua orang perlu step up to the plate and do something.

Living is a team sport. In team sport, everybody need to participate. Tidak ada pasukan yang boleh menang jika ada ahli pasukannya yang jadi penumpang dan hanya melihat. Ketamadunan manusia tidak akan berkembang jika semua kita hanya mahu jadi average.

Lelaki, kita mungkin dikecewakan juga tetapi, “So what? Big deal.”.  Bukannya kita tidak ada kekuatan untuk bangun balik. Tambahan pula, saya lelaki. Saya tahu bagaimana dan apa yang lelaki fikirkan. Women should be wary of guys who did not give 100%, especially among the younger ones. There are no reason not to.

Maybe, I was hurt once.

Maybe, my mom is true.

But I knew deep inside. What I believe is right. There’s no joy in receiving without giving, at least for me. Maybe that’s because I have a lot to give.  

To punish others for one ungrateful person,  for me its not fair. I know the world is full of wonderful people. 

I will still give my all.

 

Gracefully Written,

His Awesomeness Sabri,

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